Better. Faster. Brighter. Bigger. Happier. Sparklier.

Day 18 (Friday 18th December 2015)

18 - the number of, arguably, Shakespeare's best loved poem, Sonnet 18

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? 
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date: 
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd; 
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st; 
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Today's post is by the ever inspirational Helen Amery. Helen runs her own consultancy, Wild Fig Solutions and is an accomplished executive coach and leadership development specialist. Helen encourages people to dig deep and understand their own drivers and areas for growth. You can follow her on Twitter, her handle is @wildfigsolns. She is an excellent blogger - read her own posts at People-ology on Wordpress or else catch her in HRD Magazine. Helen commenced life as a scientist - studying Chemistry at Edinburgh, before switching career to specialise in people. She spent 10 years in HR roles with Boots (The UK Chemist and retail chain), culminating in leading the group's strategic organisational development programme, before deciding to found her own business. Helen lives with her family in Leicestershire.

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We chase a perfect life, with perfect ‘stuff’ and perfect relationships.  The Hollywood dream, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, the comet tails that are seen but can’t be caught.

And you will always be chasing.  Because life isn’t perfect.  

Sometimes while you’re running after those things, you’ll be knocked off course.

Loss of a loved one.  A flooded home.  Arguments.  Burglary.  Divorce.  Illness. Injury.

Peter Clarkson 72, swimming in his kitchen after recent flooding in Cumbria, UK
Photo: Dave Nelson

Coal dust flurries up and distorts your view of the beautiful comet.  Because life isn’t perfect.  

John Constable, "Seascape Study with Cloud" (c. 1824)

And that would be OK if you knew it would pass, or become easier.  If you knew it wasn’t forever and the dust would blow over.  You might even find a way to clean the coal dust away for yourself.  If you knew that this is just what happens and that by surviving the coal dust you’ll once again see the comet.

What would that change for you?  

When you find this place, you can quieten your judgement of the bad times. They are just what happen.  And when you see the comet again, it will look all the brighter and more precious to you than it was before.

 

Comet over Rotterdam, 1680 by Liev Verschuier

So as this year ends and the next begins, resist the belief or the hope for a perfect 2016.  Because life isn’t perfect.  Make peace with the knowledge that there will be good times and bad, happy times and sad and that both are valuable in making us who we are and taking us to where we need to be next.